It's a song of hope.  It's a song of encouragement.  It's a song of optimism.  "Ooh, Child. Things are going to get easier. Ooh Child, things are going to get better.  Someday, we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun.  Someday when the world is much brighter."  I found myself wishing someone had shared those words with me when I was a child, and a teen.

Hindsight is 20/20.  Looking back, I can see that the crucial steps to my sanity were 1) escaping from my family, 2) escaping from the bigoted Ozarks town in which we were living, and 3) realizing that I had more in common with more people in the "real" world than in the myopic, cloistered southern Missouri world of my teen years.  I recall, going through my teens, wondering if these three steps might really be my saving grace, and then fretting over what would happen if things only got worse.  These are the kinds of thoughts that lead to thoughts of suicide, and why suicide among teens is a monumental problem.

Also using hindsight, I am aware that even though my issues were unique to me, that EVERYONE has issues that lead them to doubt themselves.  This leads me to three explanations: 1) self-doubt is a natural part of the growing up process, or 2) there is something about the process that is broken, and needs to be fixed, or 3) BOTH of these. I opt for the last one.

Growing up is about learning about ourselves, and about the world around us.  Sometimes we need to fall, and self-doubt is just one kind of "falling."  But, the process is broken because so often when we fall, we don't have the tools to get up and heal.  In fact, due to a gross lack of "healing" in the world, I would argue that those around us who should be there to help us, actually end up pushing us down and trying to keep us down.

It's virtually impossible to change others.  But we can change ourselves, how we react to situations, and perhaps by example and education we can help others to change, grow and heal.  Regardless, I know that we will live happier and healthier lives.

Ooh, Child!  Today I'm walking in the rays of a beautiful sun, and the world is much brighter! 

"Iris" is both the common name and the scientific generic name for this group of flowers.  There are many species of Iris, and it is this diversity and amazing range of color that led Linnaeus, the father of our system of scientific nomenclature, to give them the name of the Greek Goddess of the Rainbow.  So, every time I see an iris, I am reminded of this rich scientific and literary history, and that makes me happy.

Perhaps I pay extra attention to irises when I see them because they were my mother's favorite flower.  Everywhere we lived, she grew dozens of Iris species and varieties: the German iris, I. germanica; the Siberian iris, I. siberica; the tiny reticulated iris, I. reticulata; and even a few Japanese iris, I. japonica. Whether we were in the San Francisco Bay area in California, or St. Louis or the Ozarks in Missouri, we had irises in our gardens.  My mother died in 1983, but it's just wonderful to have something so beautiful as an iris flower to remind me of her.

Again, perhaps because of this heightened awareness of irises, they have come to remind me of travels here and there.  I am reminded of traveling in the Netherlands where I saw fields of Dutch iris being grown for the florist industry.  I am reminded of travels to the Pacific Northwest (Northern California, Oregon, Washington, British Columbia)where the abundant rainfall makes the water-loving Japanese iris very happy.  I am reminded of visiting any number of botanical gardens across the US, Canada, and Europe where I always consider myself fortunate to arrive when irises are in bloom.

And then there is simply the design esthetic of an Iris flower.  Iris are trifoliate, with their floral anatomy arranged in threes: three upswung petals, three downswung petals.  Their form gave rise to the fleur-de-lys.  They are a popular subject of Chinese sumi-e (ink and brush) paintings. Japanese woodcuts have given irises a dramatic quality.  I have a Persian ceramic vase featuring irises.  Artists working in the Art Nouveau, Art Deco and Craftsman traditions all rendered iris in a variety of artistic variations.

Beyond inspiring art, iris flowers can BE art: with their diverse shapes and colors, they are wonderful cut flowers.  I use them to add a punch of vibrancy to dark corners of Casa Beall, or to soften edges here and there.  Dutch iris last longer than other varieties when they are cut, so be forewarned.  Fortunately, it seems that iris among the least expensive of all cut flowers, so once again, you can live beautifully while still living frugally.

The simple, yet elegant iris ... they bring me such delightful thoughts!

Be Happy! Be Well!
Bret

With taste, we can simply choose to not put something in our mouths.  If the offending flavor is our own doing, we can develop the skill set to correct the taste.

With touch, we can choose to move away from the offending texture.  Wearing itchy wool? Stop wearing it!  Have rough wood? Either stop touching it, or sand it down.

With sight, we can choose to not look at something. This is one of my particular peeves, when people "choose" to be offended by something they see (alert: this will be a future blog, LOL). If you don't like something, don't look at it.  I was once on public transportation in Chicago, and the woman next to me started excavating her nose. I chose to leave my seat.

With hearing, we can choose to avoid sounds that are unpleasant by moving away from them, or blocking them with ear plugs. Sometimes simply reducing the volume of an offending sound allows us to mentally block its impact on us.

Alas, dealing with our sense of smell, and scents, is the most difficult sense to manage. This is because, unlike all of the other senses, our sense of smell is directly tied to a life function:  BREATHING. Our sense of smell is also one of our most sensitive senses, able to detect volatiles in parts per billion.  If a scent bothers us, we can try moving away, or we can try breathing through our mouths, but because of the sensitivity of this sense, we'll still get a "whiff."

Additionally, each of us seems to be wired differently in terms of what aromas please and displease us. My #1 odor complaint is perfume and cologne! I have met very few people who know how to wear scent properly, and the rest of them are simply annoying. Working with scent sinners in offices, riding with them on public transportation, or enduring their self-centeredness at wine tastings and restaurants where olfaction is so crucial to the overall experience (I attended a zinfandel tasting in mid May that was advertised as a "Scent-Free Event" ... the scent sinners did not care ... they stunk up the room with their perfumes and interfered with the appreciation of the wine.  They had no respect for others attending the tasting, or for the wine itself.

I will always defend one's right to express his/her individuality, as long as that individuality doesn't intrude on me without my permission.  It's about respect for one another.  Starting with such respect will prevent most of the world's problems.  Start with scent.

Be Happy!  Be Well!
Bret

I have another coworker who is also trying to lose weight, yet is a generous soul who is the first to bring in a big box of bagels or donuts or muffins or other treats to share with everyone, and who will usually consume two or three or four baked items himself.  He's a very generous guy, but he's also developed quite the generous belly.  He's a friend, so I'm careful about hurting his feelings, but when I have mentioned that he just consumed an extra 500 (or more) calories for the day, he'll say, "Oh, I can work that off in 30 minutes on the elliptical machine."  "So, are you going to the gym tonight?" "No, I'm going tomorrow."  "So, does that mean you'll not be eating any extra calories tomorrow?"  "Leave me alone."  My bad.  I crossed that threshold.

Knowledge is power.  But sometimes a little bit of knowledge is dangerous.  Fortunately, I've recruited additional coworkers who are concerned about his health, so we're all monitoring his intake.  Sometimes, it takes a village.  Are you part of a village? Or do you need a village?  You are not alone.  Check out the healthy recipes at www.god-dess.com for help and support.

What's my point?  I'm always excited when May comes around because I know "something" is going to happen that will have a huge impact on my life, and for which I will be grateful.  So, now that June has arrived, I can look back at May and inventory what happened last month.

The first weekend, a dear friend came to visit.  I prepared three multi-course meals, and was rewarded by comments like, "Even for you, these flavors are amazing!" and "I can't believe you've pulled together four completely unique courses after a full day of activity." After dealing with clients so much this spring, and not doing much cooking, it was nice to know that I hadn't lost my touch.

At the end of that same weekend, my friend and I drove to Madison, Wisconsin.  WHY?  To adopt a Maine Coon Cat, of course.  I already had Lugh, the 11.5 year old white Persian whose sister Luna died of renal failure last September, and I had Muscat, the 11 year old Ragdoll whose mistress relocated to Ireland. There was an odd dynamic between the two that only developed when Luna died, and I KNEW I needed to adopt a third to shift the power balance. I had admired Maine Coons for years (almost adopting a pair of brothers in 2000 when I was looking after the death of 18 year old Shala, the Wonder Kitty, but the shelter was run by a complete psycho whack job, and I ended up adopting Lugh and Luna instead), and discovered Carrick in Madison; he had a rough life, having been given by a husband to a wife, and then dealing with the husband's death, followed by the wife's alcoholism and neglect, and then the being shuffled from person to person in the family before being surrendered to the shelter.  When I met him, he cowered in my lap, but I could sense his magnificence.  He came home, and has all but situated himself as the alpha cat.  All three play, all three eat together, all three lounge under the dining room table together.

And speaking of dining room tables: the decor of Casa Beall shifted significantly in May when a friend gave me a mid-century modern dining room table, six chairs and a hutch, and I had to get them delivered, and get the old dining room table and hutch and chairs taken away.  I'm still working on that aspect of the decor and others, but many design solutions became clear in May.

Finally, I managed to complete and get uploaded THREE new columns at www.god-dess.com for Global Organic Designs Lifestyle Services, AND get the new newsletter sent out.  YAY!  Furthermore, I was able to write and submit a new Seasonal Living column to SoulfulLiving.com, which is now uploaded.  Double YAY!

All of this is making me feel optimistic about the future.  Oh, I just realized something you might be wondering about:  How do I know that May is always a significant month for me?  Well, it's because I do this sort of retrospective analysis of my life EVERY month, and it doesn't stop there.  No, I try to be mindful of everything I do, so I'm monitoring my hourly, daily, and weekly actions and activities as well, and even though the "most" significant things have happened in May, lots of equally significant events have occurred in months other than May.  I just pay attention, as I don't want to miss out on one single moment of living.  I hope you don't, either.
Be Happy! Be Well!
Bret