Life Purpose Topic #6: What Will People Think?

This is the pivotal question that holds many people back from following their heart’s passion. For example, I recently spoke with a CEO of a high tech firm who secretly yearns to be a massage therapist.

She holds back because she’s paralyzed by the fear of letting people down, letting go of her identity, rewards and validation, disappointing family members and friends. The net-net is that for each minute of every day, she lives with angst and gut-wrenching stomach knots because she knows that she’s moving against the stream – her internal stream, that is - the one that is connected directly to her heart and spirit.  This is what life experience has taught me:

Lesson #1: If you have a heart-centered passion that is in alignment with your highest purpose, it does not go away.  The first step is to make peace with it.  If you choose to fight with yourself, it is a losing battle. Embrace your heart’s passion.

Lesson #2: I’ve learned is that there is always a way to incorporate your heart’s passion into your life. It does not have to be all or nothing… although it could be. You need to get a handle on how much your fear is coloring your perspective, and then look for opportunities to blossom using your heart as your compass.

Lesson #3: If people love you, they genuinely want you to be happy. That’s it.  Sometimes it takes them a while to get used to the “new you”, but eventually, they will notice how happy, healthy and alive you are – and want some of that happiness for themselves!

Lesson #4: It is up to each person to choose what they make things mean. If you follow your heart’s passion and your loved one chooses to make it mean something hurtful, it is important to know that it is really about them and not about you.

Lesson #5: In the final analysis, depriving yourself of the gift of your heart’s passion because of the perception that you may or may not hurt someone is really an excuse to stay plopped right where you are; it is choosing to deny that you came into the Earth to experience the joy of being alive!

DISCUSSION GROUP QUESTIONS:
1. Is anything holding you back from following your heart's passion? 
2. If you are already following your heart's passion, what has inspired you to be "true-to-you"?
3. How are you incorporating living your heart's passion (even a little) into your day-to-day life?

Look forward to hearing from you … thanks for sharing ... and enjoy the day!

Mildred Lynn
PS - If you have a question, comment or idea, please contact me. I's love to hear from you!

To access other topics, please click on the green links below:
Topic #5 - Resources: What helped you along the way? 
Topic #4 - Inspiration: Have You Found Yours?
Topic #3 - Success vs. Fulfillment: What's the Deal?
Topic #2 - Oh where, oh where did my Heartbeat Go?
Topic #1 - What in the world is a Soulnudge?

To be brutally honest... it literally brought me to my death. Today, I have two options for life and two options only!! I either move towards life or I move towards death. Each discision is based on this heartless truth... and it is heartless... it is not personal... it just is.

You do NO ONE any great thing, if you do not lean toward being your highest self! Matter-of-fact - this is a great disservice to the world... the world does not change, if you do not. Do not expect the world (family, friends, co-workers etc) to do what you are not willing to do. We all need hope, freedom and healthy modeling... Please help us - free your Self!

Little do you know... when you do this very thing you believe you can not do... you will find your world becomes heaven... the very opposite of what you fear. You stay where you are... you get the very thing you fear. It takes a great deal more work to stay where you are... a victim... suppressing/de-pressing yourself and those around you... becoming ill, angry, living in darkness instead of shining your light... Please choose life - we all need your light!   

Be Well,

Juli

I have many passions and since "losing" my job earlier this year, I'm finally going for it.  I realized that I've been given so many opportunities to say YES to my passions, and in the past, I mostly ignored them.

I realized on a deep soul level that this is the time for me to follow my heart. I told the Universe, friends, myself and God that I will say YES to any positive opportunity offered that is a passion of mine.  And, guess what?  Yep, the more I say YES, the more opportunities I'm given, and they are beyond my wildest dreams.

It's been challenging and I've stepped up. There have been times when I thought I'd have to end my relationship and move because my boyfriend doesn't share similar life philosophies/beliefs. He's all about - making $ to have the material items. I feel abundant, joyous and full just by following my heart - who needs the material things.  Once I faced this, even looked for another place to live - I realized I am capable of doing it all on my own - no worries.

#1 Passion - Horses. I read about them, massage them (a business I'm starting), watch them, feed them, and take classes about them - daily. 

The really wild thing is that even though I'm out of "work" for now, I have more $ in my possession than I did when I earned a paycheck. Go figure.

I may have "lost" my job and I sure gained so much more in its place.

Stephanie

I would love to follow my heart’s passion. The problem I have is I don’t know what it is. I ask and pray to be given clarity in this area but it does not come. This situation has gone on for years. When this happens, you are left with the choice of standing still because you are blind or going forward and feeling your way. Trying many things and keeping an open mind is important as you can easily stumble and fall, miss the obvious, or just be overburdened by the blindness. You have to believe there is a purpose and enjoy the journey though you have no idea where you are going. Since the alternative is stasis, I choose to move forward. I hope someday to know what it is I was put here to do. If it never comes, I will have lived my life trying. The good thing that I find is you can focus on the journey more than the destination.

This has been the biggest question for me. I have spent all my life worrying about what "people" will think.

I didn't realize how much it was holding me back, until I was faced with an extremely painful and life-altering decision.
I didn't know why I couldn't make the decision; what was holding me back?

I was in a meditation class, and the exercise was to examine our most pressing question/decision. In the course of my meditation, I suddenly realized that the one thing that was keeping me from the right decision was "what will people think!"

Once I got there, I made myself list just who, exactly, those "people" were, and when I came down to it, I found that there were fewer than 5 people who really mattered in this particular decision.

After that, the decisions were still painful, but the biggest roadblock was gone.

I was raised on the question "what will the neighbors say?" It always struck me as strange, even when I was little, because I knew the neighbors had their own lives and weren't poking their noses into our windows. Still, the message stuck.

Mostly the question haunted me in my 20s, when I was finding my way in Europe, working at a less-than-demanding job so that I had time to experience new cultures and learn about them. People would often ask me why, with my education, I was doing X instead of Y or Z. Having no 'good' answer at the time, I felt defensive. 

Later, when I had an established business career, I worried what my business clients would think if they knew that I was branching into a creative and spiritual new field. Furthermore, I worried that I didn't have the "credentials" for work in spiritual self-awareness, despite years of quietly using my gifts with family and friends.

Fortunately, my passion was stronger than my fear. I think that's the key to getting past that horrible, nagging question of what people will think: having a passion that's stronger than our fear. We can overcome fear and learn to release it--learn to see that it's just another emotion, no bigger or stronger than any other. But a passion, wow! That has strength and force!

I've spent a lot of time studying and releasing fear. Thanks, Mildred Lynn, for helping me see that my old college prejudices about "people who self-publish" amounted to just another form of "what will people think." This spring I self-published "The Spiritual Alchemist: Working with the Voice of Your Soul"(River Daughter Press) (www.thespiritualalchemist.com), and it's now a finalist for a 2008 New Mexico Book Award. I chose to teach workshops centering on the confluence of spirituality, creativity, and self-awareness--and instead of losing my business clients, I got even better, more interesting ones.

In brief, I now believe that the more risks we take where our passion is concerned (and no, I don't mean jumping out of planes without a working parachute), the better our lives, and the better our ability to help those around us lead better lives. As to "what will people think," not only don't I care anymore, those are no longer the people I want in my life. It's not a judgment, just a choice. And, oh, what a relief!!

Thanks for listening,

Natalie