Life Purpose Topic #3: Success vs. Fulfillment - Do You Know the Difference?

Do you know what makes you happy? When I say happy, I mean in the joyful sense; that magical electricity that tingles from the top of your head to the tips of your toes--a feeling that has deep roots in the faraway, exotic land of personal fulfillment.

For a while, I was toying with the ideas of happiness, success and fulfillment, until one day I came across the work of Victor Frankl. You may be familiar with his story.  The late Victor Frankl was a renowned psychiatrist, concentration camp survivor, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning.  As you may or may not know, he also had amazing insights into the mechanics of success and fulfillment.

According to Dr. Frankl, as a society we are reared to have a good working knowledge of what is required of us to be successful; hard work, talent, a snazzy outfit, a networking lunch or two; and perhaps even a little luck. We are less sure (and secure) about what is required of us to be fulfilled. This is often true for both individuals, and as a collective Mc-Instant generation.

Do you know the difference? According to the dictionary, success means someone who attains fame, power, and wealth or is judged favorably by others--in short, a winner with a capital “W”; fulfillment means a feeling of deep, inner satisfaction.  The subtle difference lies in the area of internal vs. external validation.

As a Life Coach, I come across many people who are struggling with the push-pull of the success vs. fulfillment equation--so much so that I can almost feel them rocking to and fro.  This motion often continues until the person has an “ah” moment and chooses to identify, accept and embrace what makes them personally happy--regardless of what society says or values. After a shaking off period, an enhanced sense of self-worth, confidence and personal fulfillment blossoms. The influence of external or success-oriented valuators (status, money, looks) become less important, lose context, and often fade like an echo.

The other characteristic of the healthy personal fulfillment journey is that often, what makes people happy is astonishingly simple and accessible.  The linchpin seems to be when a person decides that the only measure of success is the degree to which their success is in-sync with their Life Purpose--which interestingly enough, just happens to be the person’s greatest opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in this lifetime. Voila!

Do you know where you stand on your personal success vs.fulfillment scale? Just for fun, try the exercise below:

Success vs. Fulfillment Exercise:
1. List four items that would be part of your personal definition of success; then do the same for your personal definition of fulfillment.
2. Highlight or circle any areas where success and fulfillment overlap.
3. Rate each item on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being what is most important to you today.
4. Take each item that you have identified as success and note what it would take to make that item shift into fulfilling.
5. Keep your Success vs. Fulfillment list, update and refer to it often. 

Discussion Group Question: Is there anything about success or fulfillment that you would like to share with the group?

Look forward to hearing from you … and enjoy the day!

Mildred Lynn
PS – If you have a question, comment or idea, please feel free to contact me.

New! For other topic areas, please click on the green links below:
Topic #6 - What Will People Think?
Topic #5 - Resources: What helped you along the way? 
Topic #4 - Inspiration: Have You Found Yours?
Topic #2 - Oh where, oh where did my Heartbeat Go?
Topic #1 - What in the world is a Soulnudge?
 

Dear Mildred Lynn,     The topic of fulfillment is closest to my heart at this stage of life.   I like your system of rating the  areas of our lives that fulfill.    My top four areas were  Health and well-being.   Remaining a life long learner. I get alot out of reading and exploration.  My family time and creative energies have all been areas where I am fulfilled.   These all ranked very high on the scale and have for quite awhile.    Peace, Love, and Joy,   Kind Regards,  Lindy

There is no separation between success and fulfillment. They blend like a fine wine, aged and full-bodied. In my lifetime, I learned that these two qualities are partners. They both deserved equal time and balance, working together.

Genece

You can be successful, but not fulfilled, especially if you are not on track with your life purpose.   I’ve discovered from life experience that is there is a fine line between success and fulfillment. For example: Success does not bring fulfillment every time; and fulfillment doesn’t necessarily mean that you are successful.  Fulfillment is a feeling; it is not a tangible, and often not measurable. It radiates from the inside and does something positive for your spirit.

Alternatively, success can often be measured, and if you are off your life purpose track, it may very well leave you feeling empty inside. It is important to know the difference.  And I agree, experiencing success and fulfillment at the same time is a wonderful experience. That’s the way I see it, anyway.  Thank you for posting this topic. It made me think ~

I completed the exercise above. When I thought about the four success areas and the four fulfillment areas, they were both the same for me:

1. A loving, primary relationship in your life
2. Lots of friends and family actively part of your life
3. Being part of a greater community of shared values and common touch points
4. Something to do every day (job or major daily activity) that I really enjoy and allows me to grow.

Earlier in life I was more driven towards societal measures of success but they fell away with the years.

Hello there!

Soulful Living.com Community member Natalie had a technical difficulty accessing our discussion group and asked me to post this for her:

"I offer into the mix that success means getting one's name known and bringing in the work or ackowledgment one wants (for whatever reasons one wants it).

Fulfillment means knowing that what one is doing is what is in the highest interests of one's soul purpose and being very very fulfilled in that knowledge."

Thank you very much for contributing Natalie!

Mildred Lynn

I have been thinking about this since Mildred posted the discussion topic. My initial feeling is that success can be measured easier than fulfillment: career advancement, salary increases, homes purchased, trips taken, toys purchased. I can also feel successful raising happy children.

Fulfillment is more of a personal feeling. Am I living a life that fulfills me? I was married, live in a beautiful home, and have a career with a great salary. At first glance, from the outside looking in, I have it all.....the perfect life. I have found out that things and money do not always get you fulfillment.

I currently feel fulfilled and blessed by many things..........my children, my relationships with friends, my family, and my interest in finding my life purpose. I have decided that in order to find my elusive life purpose I must SIMPLFY. I believe Mildred put it perfectly in saying that she realized she was sitting at the wrong table with the wrong people.

Success and fulfillment can certainly overlap, but fulfillment is feeling deep inside that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. The calm, happy, simple feeling of living in the moment...... for the right reasons. There are no empty feelings.....like something is missing. My plan is to live my life with more fulfilling things and opportunities. Hopefully, by doing this I will continue to have success for the right reasons.

Hello there! 

If you are looking for a book to explore how success and fulfillment show-up in your life, please check out: Play to Win: Choosing Growth over Fear in Work and Life by Larry Wilson and Hersch Wilson.

People striving to attract more work-home balance may find this award-winning book especially useful. I use this resource with life coaching clients and they like it.

Enjoy the day!

Mildred Lynn